Have you ever asked what is money to you? What kind of relationship do you share with money? Would you like it to be a friend you could trust? If you are willing to explore your relationship with money, join me and read more!
I see this as one of the three factors determining my financial wellness. I call it my perception of money! If you are curious about the other two factors, refer to the post Three factors for Financial Wellbeing
Mindset matters:
I like to use the Scarcity and Abundance mindsets/thinking patterns to form a basis for my perception of money. May I invite you to use this concept to observe and be aware instead of slipping into judgment?
As a child, I observed how two people reacted differently to the same event or situation they faced. I take the example of my parents who had opposing viewpoints on money. Perhaps it is a typical story, often with couples?!
When I was five years old, my family moved from our hometown in the rural part of South India to a bustling city. In the first few years we moved, my parents struggled to make ends meet, given the city’s high living cost. Even though our situation improved as years passed, my experience as a child left an indelible mark on how I perceived money.
Scarcity thinking:
Scarcity thinking stems from a place of lacking and a deep belief that there is not enough to go around. I observed very often scarcity thinking was my Mother’s default survival mode in money management and rightfully so, given her own life experiences.
She was born in a relatively wealthy family that ran a successful business. She enjoyed many privileges such as nice clothes, good food, and comfort, which was relatively rare during that time. As the family business wound down, she painfully witnessed her parents lose their privileges and struggle with finances as they aged.
My mother started her own family at the tender age of 17 with financial constraints as her reality and a daily challenge. Her experience only added strength to her belief that money was deceptive, and often felt betrayed by it.
I observed that her response was to fight it. She defended her stake and position at every opportunity to conserve every bit for an uncertain future for herself and her family. I do see the valid reason behind her utter frustration and continuous exhaustion for decades.
I know my mother represents millions of people who have similar experiences and chosen to respond the same way. Many others see money as a bully, an enemy, a bad boss, a slave driver, a disappearing magician, a villain, a mad scientist, punishing teacher, or any other character that we are fearful of interacting closely.
Abundance Thinking:
Abundance thinking takes root from the place of sufficiency and strong belief that there is more than enough to go around. My Father had the polar opposite life experience compared to my Mother. He was born in a frugal family, and just about had his needs met. I have heard amazing stories of his happy and carefree childhood despite having to walk barefoot to school or always mend his torn trousers.
Given the exact situation of financial constraints that both my parents experienced together as adults, I saw my Father operated from abundance thinking. He saw money as a friend and did not carry any baggage with him from the past.
He took financial constraints as healthy challenges in life, instead of feeling run down by it. He kept exploring and experimenting with new opportunities and took more informed risks to earn money. When he failed in his business experiments more often than he succeeded, he fully accepted the lessons it taught him and never regretted his explorations.
He always tells my brother and me most authentically, that he never felt a pinch of pain even during his roughest patch in life. One of his rough patches financially, which I witnessed, was a failed business in his 50’s that buried him in debt.
The debt amount was so staggering that it seemed it would take the rest of his life to repay. As it turned out, some significant external changes led to a surge in his consulting profession that finally attracted real money in the bank more than what was barely needed.
Some people perceive money to be their loving family, an ally, a trustable friend, an effective teacher, a change-maker, a game-changer, an actual sport, a balancing force, a rescuer, a life-boat, a magnet, or anything that we could relate as an enabler to live and enhance our life.
A positive perception of money, in my experience, nurtures and nourishes me physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
To clarify, I am not referring to delusional abundance where people buy things and experiences way beyond their capability. In my view, taking personal loans and abusing credit cards for personal indulgences and instant gratification pleasures are not what I consider abundance thinking. I am talking about a mindset that looks for abundance within the means and seeks abundance in possibilities that could enhance the means.
My insight:
Getting onboard to the abundance mindset as a young adult was challenging for me even when I started doing reasonably well moneywise. Afterall I was marinated in frugality and scarcity mentality for my entire childhood and adolescence.
It was like tandoori marinate that make my fingers yellow from the strong turmeric that seeps into the skin. It is going to take some time for the colour to wear off naturally. How quickly the yellow colour disappears from my skin, depends on how long I choose to stay out of the marinate.
I have observed that both these mindset works in the accumulation of wealth. I have also seen situations where wealthy people live in scarcity thinking and struggle to feel the abundance in what they already possess.
The most important insight I had on money is recognizing that I have a choice in the mindset I operate. I could consciously act or learn to work in an abundance mindset, even if it did not come naturally to me.
If I had to choose between the two, the abundance mindset was a clear winner to me, though it took me some time to put it to practice. When I operate from abundance, I feel hopeful, happy, and inspired even when things do not work as I expected. What mindset would you prefer and why?
My perception of money:
When I became aware of my unconscious relationship with money and understood my programmed responses to decisions, I began another rewarding journey towards true abundance. This journey has been a beautiful gift that keeps giving.
An abundance mindset inspires me
- To be open to prudent risks;
- To consider new and fresh possibilities outside the box;
- To see challenges as opportunities;
- To embrace and learn from failures;
If you wonder how I relate to money, I see money as an essential tool or device in my tool kit that helps me repair or fix something that is broken. The device also allows me to co-create my unique sculpture to express the artist in me. The more I use the device; the more skillful I get. Whatever I choose to do with my money, I am grateful for its energy that allows me space and time to heal and enjoy different aspects of myself.
Reflections:
- If money was a person, how would you describe him/her? How would you like to relate to that person?
- What/ Who influenced and inspired you in thinking patterns during your formative years?
- Are you naturally inclined towards scarcity thinking or abundance thinking with money? Has is changed over time?
- Do you believe abundant thinking has any role to play in achieving more wealth? Why or why not?
- Are there any blocks that keep you away from abundance thinking? Let me give you a hint- not having enough money itself need not be a block!
